i just spent some time reading over my facebook page for the day. so many thoughts ran through my head as i read. some people posted about children and family achievements, some about political agendas, some about favorite restaurants, some said where they were at the time of posting (i still don’t undertstand why people need to post their whereabouts), some were posts from companies and/or famous people, or tv shows. with so much to read and learn about others, why do i feel like i didn’t use my time wisely?
i clicked “like” on a few posts. i was saddened by 2 posts. i almost commented on one post, but decided against it.
after the passing of my friend’s daughter just over a month ago, i have a new perspective on life. what exactly are the most important things we should be doing with our time? reading posts of where all 300 or 1000 of our “friends” are currently? posting about what we are eating for lunch? one friend’s post made me want to shout out to the world about how eating healthier will change our fight against cancer, diabetes, heart disease, obesity, etc. there is so much to know and learn. why do we fight it? why do we stick to what we know and not want to change? is that cookie, that large slab of steak, or that diet soda so addicting that we choose not to let it go? if we could get rid of 90% of our physical ailments just by eliminating the crap food from our lives, why would we not do it? sounds easy to me. i’m not struggling with cancer. i’ve had gestational diabetes. i’ve been (and still am slightly) overweight. i tried. i changed. what i was doing before was leading me down a dangerous path. i changed paths. i feel better. i look better. i don’t plan on dying of cancer, diabetes, or any of those big, awful things.
i plan to be an old lady who can run, walk, remember, and not have 20 doctor appointments a month and cabinets full of medications to take. i don’t plan on taking ANY! i’m not buying into the idea that we “get old” and things fall apart. that’s only happening because we don’t take the time to take care of ourselves.
my healthy road is, unfortunately, a lonely road at present. i’ve been traveling it for a few years now. it would be nice to have someone-anyone-join me. i’ve been made fun of, accused of “torturing” myself, and even encouraged when i make a “wrong” choice. (wrong in my eyes, not everyone else’s.) why do we feel the need to let each other down? why can’t we be happy or excited for another person’s achievement without feeling badly about ourselves? when you say “i’m so happy for you” do you really mean it?
i find the need to “brag” about ourselves to be a very curious need. why do we all crave attention? why do children always say, “look at me!” it seems to be in our very nature from the beginning. facebook, or any social website, seems to give us that outlet, a place to say, “look at me.”
still, i find myself scrolling through my facebook page every day. today i ask myself why. why? we lived just fine without it a few years ago. we lived without cell phones and pocket computers not so long ago. why are we so addicted to these things now? what has changed that makes us feel the need to “stay connected” on an hourly, or daily basis? what happened to getting together with the neighbors and hanging out in the street at night? what happened to just visiting with a friend without having to do it over lunch at a restaurant? why don’t we just spend the days together doing stuff? silly stuff. or going for a walk just to go for a walk, not because we “need the exercise” or because we didn’t get our workout in that day?
are we really enjoying our lives? or are we doing what we think the world expects of us? are we happy, or just think we are happy? what exactly are the most important things?
every day i wish i could be spending time with my family. every day i think about my boys who are far away. every day i wish i could be with them, talk to them, or just sit with them. is that what is the most important? being together with our family? is there more? i am so content when my family is home together. i just feel like there is nothing in the world better than that. no sunset, no majestic mountain, no book, no movie, no thing at all in the world better than that. it is the time when i am the happiest. it is the time when i am most content. is that what is the most important? well, to me it is.
now, if i weren’t sitting alone at home right now typing these thoughts, i might be happier. i do enjoy my quiet time. but i always miss my family. daily, hourly, every minute. i am truly happy when they succeed. i don’t reflect on myself and think, “why couldn’t i do that?” i am truly happy. i love my family. my husband, my son and his beautiful wife, my missionary son, and my youngest son. i am so blessed. they make me happy.
i will begin to rethink my place in this world, my need for social networking, my plan for helping others to be healthy, and whatever else i’ve just spilled my guts about here in this blog. does any of it make sense to you? does anyone read my blog? i think i’m done now. these are just my thoughts for today.
have a great day. i do really mean it!
